Behold the Swarm

So evidently the newest conceivable terrorist plot we should be concerned about is the use of "insect-based" biological weapons.

Jeffrey Lockwood, professor of entomology at Wyoming University and author of Six-legged Soldiers: Using Insects as Weapons of War, said such Rift Valley Fever or other diseases could be transported into a country by a terrorist with a suitcase.

He told BBC Radio 4's Today programme: "I think a small terrorist cell could very easily develop an insect-based weapon."

Can't you just imagine the headlines... "Flu-Roach Infestation Threatens St. Louis", or "Killer Bees actually Al Qaeda Plot"

And evidently, it's not even hard:

He said it would "probably be much easier" than developing a nuclear or chemical weapon, arguing: "The raw material is in the back yard."

He continued: "It would be a relatively easy and simple process.

"A few hundred dollars and a plane ticket and you could have a pretty good stab at it."

Of course, this requires some knowledge in a rather selective field. And also requires some pretty impressive results to actually inspire terror. (at least, to inspire more terror than the thought of being attacked by insects already accomplishes for most people)

Perhaps this is what has, for now, prevented this less obvious method thus far: terror that can be thwarted with a flyswatter or a can of raid is somehow... less terrifying.

But perhaps I will eat my words when the ravening fell-swarm of plague-bearing locusts descend upon us, devouring all crops and spreading deathly contagion. Perhaps, my words will be all that remain to be eaten.

(Note: this article may appear to be satirical in nature, but rest assured that we at MC do not underestimate any threat. Any tarantulas found bearing tiny silver biohazard capsules near a public water-storage facility should definitely be terminated with extreme prejudice.)

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