Does Biden have brain flu?

We knew there was a reason we hadn't seen Biden since the election:
He might actually say something, and that might be made public.

In this case, our most highly esteemed Vice President has blundered by suggesting that public transportation is now unsafe for Americans.

"I would tell members of my family, and I have, I wouldn't go anywhere in confined places now. It's not that it's going to Mexico, it's you're in a confined aircraft when one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft. That's me. I would not be, at this point, if they had another way of transportation suggesting they ride the subway. "

Panic! Panic! The White House is now recommending that public transportation be avoided!

However, we here at MC would like to reassure our readers. The Vice President's words should not, under any circumstances, be taken at face value. What he really meant to say was this:

“On the Today Show this morning, the vice president was asked what he would tell a family member who was considering air travel to Mexico this week. The advice he is giving family members is the same advice the administration is giving to all Americans: that they should avoid unnecessary air travel to and from Mexico. If they are sick, they should avoid airplanes and other confined public spaces, such as subways. This is the advice the vice president has given family members who are traveling by commercial airline this week."

That's right. When Biden says "It's not that it's going to Mexico", he really means "what he would tell a family member who was considering air travel to Mexico".

In fact, all of Biden's utterances should probably be understood in this more discerning light of meaning the exact opposite of their content.

But this raises a quandary. Clearly, since we are given to understand that Obama is a genius, he would not have chosen a brainless twit to be his Vice President.

The obvious solution is that Al Gore had it slightly wrong. He really should have been hunting the Manbirdpig (otherwise known as Human Avian Swine Flu). And clearly, Biden knows how to catch it. I foresee an urgent press conference in the very near future.

But we try to encourage family-friendly fare here as well, and clearly the show referenced above cannot be in any way construed as such. Therefore, I offer a second explanation, possibly even more accurate and satisfying....



They're pinky and the brain, they're pinky and the brain... one is a genius, the other's insane.
To prove their liberal worth, they'll overthrow the earth
They're pinky, they're pinky and the brain, brain, brain, brain....

-()4|<.